What to do...

Hmm, I woke up pretty late in the evening Thursday night, so I didn't get to go out anywhere. I've been watching tv and hanging out on here for a little bit, trying to think of what I want to do for the next few hours. I'm stuck between trying to design a new layout, since I'm not totally happy with the one that I've already designed to be the next one- or watching Reservoir Dogs. Hmm, decisions, decisions.

I don't have to be at work until late in the evening, so I mught go get my hair cut before work, since it always looks like shit when it gets to this length. I can't ever grow my hair out, it looks so haaarrible when it gets this way, since it's so thin and has a weird natural wave to it. I have a couple of ideas for what I want to do with it, but I'm a little nervous about it.

Until then, I'm going to figure out something to do, then I'm going to relax. The theme of the week is to relax. I have to work Friday and Saturday, but hopefully it won't be too stressful. I haven't been to work for a couple of days, so it shouldn't be too bad. Though I do wonder what they're going to think about my little episode the other day.

Not a short dick man!

Well well, now everyone knows that Colin Farrell has a huge dick. It's nice to know that a hottie like that doesn't have a three inch dick. :P

One step closer

I had some kind of weird stress and panic attack yesterday, while at work, and I had to go to the hospital. I got hot flashes, almost passed out, and my chest was hurting. I was already tired, my car has been fucking up for the last few weeks (the brakes are bad), and my grandmother is driving my up the wall. It all just hit at once, I suppose. The straw that broke the camel's back.

I'm not working today, the doctor said that I should rest for twenty four hours, which sounds like a damn good idea to me. My car is at the shop, since I decided that I didn't want to have to deal with the fucked up brakes any longer. I need to be driven to my car later, since my two bags of chips and Final Fantasy XI is in there!

I decided that I would give that rpg a chance, even though I'm having some buyers remorse about it. I haven't opened it yet, but I think that I'm going to keep it. I've always loved the FF series, been playing it since the beginning. I just didn't like Second Life very much, and Nexus TK was getting a bit boring to me, since it was pretty much all about hunting and the quests were too hard.

I'm planning my birthday trip, which is going to be a trip to Las Vegas! I really hope that I can follow through with this, even though I'm really nervous about flying. I'll have to tell my grandmother that I'm going somewhere else, since I'm sure that she'd shit if I told her that I was going to Vegas. I might have to end up going by myself, so that's what she would flip out about. I haaaave to go play Texas Hold 'Em in a casino, i just haaaave to!

I've never been to Vegas before, hell- I've never even been on a plane before. The furthest from here that I've been, is Austin Texas. I wish that I had more friends, that way I'd have more people to go with me. I don't know if Kevin is going to be able to go or not. I'm pretty sure that Todd already has plans for other stuff, since we were talking about that the other day. If I had more friends, I'd always have someone to do something with.

That's what my grandmother keeps saying- that I need more friends. She hates the fact that I'm online all of the time, thinks that it isn't good for me. I think that this is great for me, since I'd be out drinking every night if I didn't have the internet. I have to get my interaction and entertainment somewhere, right? Anyway, I just need to relax, I worry about too much stuff. I've always been like that, overthinking and worrying about everything.

Out of gas

I really fucking want some sour cream and onion chips, but I reeeally don't fucking want to get dressed and drive to Wally World. Bleh, I might just end up making a couple of hot dogs, since I really don't feel like going anywhere.

I would really like to talk about The Dead Zone, since it was fucking awesome tonight, but I just don't have the energy. I slept through my whole day off, as I went to bed at about 10am and got up at 8pm. I didn't go anywhere, I just stayed here and watched tv, as if there is anything else to do on a Sunday. Maybe I can go somewhere tomorrow during the day, then go have some fun at night.

I'm going to be switching servers soon, so I need to start working on a new layout for the site, since I always like to change the layout when I move to new servers. I have no idea who or what I want the layout to be based on, but it's going to kick some ass!

Dammit

Chris, email me again. I lost your number.

Mushy movie

I just got done watching the movie "Bridget Jones's Diary", which has one of the saddest endings that I've ever seen. Well, it's not really "sad" per se, but when you don't have a boyfriend- it makes you sad. You can just feel the love at the end of the movie, it grabs you by the chest and doesn't let go. This isn't the first time that I've seen that movie, I saw it years ago when it came out, but it didn't hit me like it did this time. Aaah, how I've grown up.

Gah, don't you just hate it when you have a soft moment? I know that I do, I thought that my wishy washy days were over... guess not. Getting emotional about a movie, not having sex in a long ass time, starting to think about if I'm ever going to get married- yep, I'm getting old. I guess that since I'll be twenty seven on August fifth, it's starting to get to me.

By the way, does anyone know if Lina really died? I found her comments section in my site tracker, since some asshole went there, pretended to be me, and left a horrible comment. See how bad my stalkers are? Just when you think that they're done obsessing with you, they have to go and do dumb shit like that. I have no ill will towards anyone on the internet, and I wouldn't even say anything horrible like that about someone if they actually did die.

Big black guy named Ben

If you want to laugh your ass off, you need to go here. That's some of the funniest shit that I've ever seen.

Got Gmail?

By the way, I will give someone a Gmail invite if they can get me a copy of the full working version of Pmachine's Expression Engine.

New tattoo

I got a new tattoo yesterday, on the small of my back. It's a very different looking tat, so it's not cliche like all of the other tats that people get back there. It's a tiger tribal type thing, but it doesn't have an outline, it just has the stripes. It's hard to explain, I'll have to try to get a picture of it tonight or tomorrow. It's hard to keep it lubed up, since it's making my nightgown stick me me.

It's hard for me to get myself motivated, since I'm still a little bit hungover. My energy level is through the floor, it's haaarrible. I had an interesting night last night, got the phone numbers of two different guys. Nothing will come of it, I'm sure, but it was nice to get some digits. I've been out of the game for so long, it's going to take me a while to get back into it.

I guess that I'll try to get something to eat and then try to get my ass up and out of this seat. Maybe I'll do some audio posting later, that'd be fun.

Another one is gone

Can you believe that Ray Charles died? I didn't even know that he was sick. Everyone that we like and respect is starting to drop like flies. It's going to be really depressing when we get older and the icons of our time start dropping, like Madonna and people like that.

J.Ho strikes again

Gotdamn, J.Lo is a home wrecking slut. I can't wait until the rest of her 15 minutes are up. I don't even see why Ben went out with her in the first place, he must have really needed a publicity boost. Can you believe that she's getting married for the Nth time? Right after she and Ben break up, and no more than a week after Marc gets a divorce! I'm telling you, she is the trashiest bitch that I have ever seen, she has no taste.

Goodbye Mr. President

Ugh, it's a sad day in history. President Ronald Reagan has died. He was the best president that we've had in decades. All of the presidents since him have been a joke, and a lot of the ones before him were crooked. Mr.Reagan cared about this country, took it seriously, and was a true American hero and icon. He went from being a tv actor to being a president that could relate to the people, he was like one of us. He wasn't a career politician that was rich from oil fields and big business, he didn't lie, he didn't sugarcoat things to make them seem not so bad.

I doubt that there will ever be another president that will be as good as he was. At least his suffering is over now, that's what the sentiment of the whole nation seems to be. A lot of people say that he's been gone for a while now, with his Alzheimers and all. I wonder if he even knew about 9/11? I certainly hope not.

Brave New World

I just watched a movie on tv that really made me think, called "Brave New World". If you really want a detailed description (besides the one that I'm about to tell you), go here and read about the book that the movie was made about. It's about a world without crime, sadness, pain, poverty, and everything else bad in the world. The only downside (if you really want to call it that) is that there also isn't any love, sadness, very much emotion, children are made in labs, and a few other things.

People are programmed and have their own place in society. You're either an alpha (who is the highest class that has all of the fun), or you're a worker of a few different lower classes. Some people are office workers, some others are for factories, some are for service (like maids). Alpha's are encouraged to have sex with everyone, because if you keep someone all to yourself, it's "antisocial", as they say in the movie. Basically, you aren't ever dating or exclusive with anyone, you're just out to have fun and be happy.

My question to you is: Would you give up love, science, religon, history, and so on- for a perfect world? I certainly would, even if I had to give up a little bit of my free thought process. Even the "Alphas" are programmed to do what they do, being heads of businesses and to party, so it's not like they totally get out of not being able to be programmed to a certain level. I think that it would totally be worth it, to not have to worry about anything ever again.

No crime, no pain, no suffering... don't you think that's worth a little bit of your free will? Never have your heart broken again, don't be sad when someone dies, don't have to worry about being killed or mugged, everyone everywhere getting along perfectly. That would most certainly be worth it, at least to me. This world is flawed in so many ways, who wouldn't change it if they could? You can't get something for nothing, so that trade off seems like a really good thing to me.

Fuckin blah

I'm glad that I bought my Gmail account on Ebay for $38 when I did, because the ones for sale there now are $75 to $100, and those auctions aren't even over yet! I was starting to feel a little bit bad about paying so much for my account, until I saw that. People go nuts on Ebay sometimes, especially with some of the other stuff that I'm trying to get from on there. Not going to say what it is, since I don't want some jack off to go there and drive the prices up even more!

My three days off in a row has pretty much been a bust, since I really haven't got anything accomplished. I was hoping to go get hair extensions put in, but I just haven't been able to wake up and get out of the house at a decent time. I've been feeling really tired and laggy recently, even when I get enough sleep. I need to go back to the doctor and make sure that precancer stuff hasn't come back, since I haven't had that test done for many years. Hell, it could have came back and developed into cancer by now.

I'm trying to figure out what to do tonight. I went out with my friend last night, and we had a lot of fun, even though I felt like shit through most of the night. I don't know if I should go out tonight and concentrate on talking to new people, or if I should stay here and play on the internet all night. The night goes by slower whenever I am here, which could or could not be a good thing. It would be worth going out if I met someone really cool... or lickable.

I was thinking about Ben Affleck before I went to bed last night, but then I ended up having a dream about my exboyfriend (James). How fucked up is that? I have a hard time sleeping, so I have to think about something pleasant, otherwise I will think about all of the little things that bother me and make it so I can't sleep. Even my dreams are giving me a bunch of bullshit, except for the one about Ben Affleck the other night.